| Guess what, fyp evaluation is over. |
[Jan. 24th, 2010|07:12 am] |
Finally, it is over once again. All i can say that it is pretty okay and much better than what i expected it to be. Now just hoping all the best for the grades! Team polon, you have tried your best and I am so proud of everyone of you. If not for you guys, i wouldn't know what have become of me and i am pretty sorry for making you all get so worried over me. Nothing would describe my thoughts right now but what i know is that i am really glad to have WQ, Lynnda and En as my team mates. You all simply rocks and this is the best team that i won't be able to find it anywhere already. These few months have been filled with lot of fun and of course lot of obstacles coming along the way which was pretty hard for us to cope with but nevertheless we managed to at least get pass it with faith (:
Fyp have finally or at least came to a break when i just need to do some more editing to my commercial and also the poster and it will be all done already. However, something just happened and i need to solve it now. Why does problem come when you have just ended with one and now i can't really relax better. That why we got the saying that life is really a serious bitch! It wouldn't be more true than this already.
Anyway, back to the main topic.
I don't know why but i just felt a burst of emotions when i saw my fyp posters been printed out at that moment. It was nothing very great but you know it is like seeing your hard work paid off nicely. I really can't help but feel so proud of myself at that moment. But, this is not the main reason why i was not at all nervous during the presentation. It is actually the uncle that work in the printing shop that clear all my unwanted worries all at one go. He was so energetic and serious at work. He seem to me that he had passion for his job and ensure that everything is printed out nicely. I want to be just like him when i started my work in the future. I wanted to love my job so much that i can just live with it for the rest of my life.
This kind of remind me of the days when i have to rush my D & T folio during my 'o' level period. I would recall myself sleeping less than two hours for several days, not having my meals and my entire mind being filled up by it. I was once so passionate over design and even swear to myself that i will be a great designer and design for the rest of my life. I was once this kind of person, who take design as my life and would do everything that i can in order to get what i want - a work that i am proud of. I had always thought that this kind of feelings have faded and would never come back to me again. But, i was wrong. I don't know about other thing but one thing i am sure is that i can feel that feeling again today. It is coming back to me!
Please don't ever stop, i want to follow this feelings till the day i can't do it anymore! Whoever say that dream only belong to illusion, you are wrong. Dream is here to make our life better (: |
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| when fyp submission is over, |
[Jan. 20th, 2010|06:52 am] |
I never know this can get so annoying when you just can't start to have the problem of missing everyone upon farewell. I really dislike biding people good- bye unless there is really a need for me to do that. Someone know this weird habit of mine very well.
I really thought that i will never feel a single sadness at all. But i was wrong again. Why am i always doing stuffs that my heart forbid me to do so. I guess i no longer have any control over what my heart think when i start doing ,unknowing it.
I don't want to say good bye so soon. I am still not prepare to leave my current life-style yet. I want to have more time to do the thing that i want with the right group of people at the same environment. It is until now when i start to recall the words that i told you before. I remember myself telling you that "i want to grow up asap and i want to be young adult that can speak and act very well, someone who dare to live her life with her dreams and always be responsible and prepare to face any challenges in her future". I no longer want to hold any ownership to what i have said earlier. This is not what i am ready right now, although one thing i am sure is that i have the mindset of becoming a young adult. But, what i really fear is the future. It seem so uncertain and filled with uncountable decision-making which involved with hesitations and yes, lot of hesitation which make me afraid of it.
Moreover, my mindset changes a lot for the past one year. I really wish that i was once the girl who dare to dream and fright for what she want in her life. She was so certain of what she want and she was so looking forward to embark on the journey to peruse her dreams and live her own life the way she wanted it to be then.
One thing that really irritate, is my fyp. Although i have submitted the work just yesterday. I am still so unhappy with my own work. It is working fine but definitely not up to expectation. It can better but how should i make it better?
Okay, enough of all these ranting. I got something to share, i am harboring some not quite right thoughts over something. This is really unacceptable. I should stop all it! |
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| No emotion, please. |
[Jan. 13th, 2010|08:54 am] |
I guess i am just too fed up with my fyp which is gonna be overdue in just 5 days time. I am starting to drown myself in all kinds of un-neccessary thoughts worrying too much already. It is really not good for health and i promised i will try to stop it. Although, i always tend to have the habit of understanding but not applying it into action. I will try, if not it is gonna kill me (: Perhaps, i will update my blog after the submission again or maybe not again. Cus, blog to me is no longer important anymore. It is better to just forget thing that don't need to be rmb easily then to always recall it by keeping a diary with you. So that explain why i had really bad memory nowadays, I realised myself tend to forget thing easily after a few days. Isn't this better for me this way? Maybe yes, or not.
I am really dead-beat already. My confidence level is sinking to the bottom. I really have no confidence over what i am doing now. Cus, i always can't help but have the thought that my work isn't good or at least up to my expectation at all. I am always not easily contented with what i am doing. I always think that i have the ability to make it even better which this is actually not the case. So, i got myself disappointed every time and this seriously upset me a lot. People have been telling me how much optimistic person i am ,when only me myself know that i am actually not. This is really weird. I don't understand at all. But, its okay! since the truth is that, i want people to have the impression of ma as a happy person. This will be good enough, seriously.
i am training myself to get immune to everything ever since the day when i start to understand life. I think i am doing well enough now.
I shall just stop here. Shall go chiong my fyp already. JIAYOU, to my team mates: WQ, Lynnda and En. <3 you all!!!! |
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| Quote of the day! |
[Dec. 6th, 2009|02:53 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my room | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | nil | ] |
"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost " ~H. Jackson Browne |
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| HAPPY! |
[Nov. 28th, 2009|01:33 am] |
What's the use of worrying?
It never was worth while,
So pack up your troubles in your old bag,
And smile, smile, smile.
If only everyday can be like ytd, everything would be great seriously (:
I am very motivated although i feel that my strength is very weak. Let get this done, in the most perfect way!
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| One more month to go and here come 2010. |
[Nov. 22nd, 2009|05:35 pm] |
End of the year kidda make me reminisce about the past again.
I wouldn't help but laugh at myself for being so naive one year ago (:
However, the truth is that i have never regret making an effort to make thing work out then. It's really okay as thing have developed to this state. Perhaps, this is the best outcome that we can think of and all we can do is to accept reality. "Just because something good ends doesn't mean something better won't begin."
Yes, this is true. Life goes on, earth won't stop moving just without the absence of one. There is also no point holding onto something that left long time ago, cus sooner or later you'll realize something are just not meant to be in the first place.
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| Boycott love. |
[Nov. 21st, 2009|01:42 am] |
Okay, I am being random here again.
Just taking a break away from doing maya for 4 hours already.
So tiring, my whole body is aching from pain already.
4 hours, and I am not being very productive. This is bad. I am always expecting my work to be totally perfect despite knowing that i can't make it to the perfection stage. I should change this bad habit of mine, seriously. I am really not good at 3d at all. How am i gonna survive through this FYP? Never mind, it's okay. I shall try to do it within my ability. The only way to do well, is to love what you are doing. And, I am gonna try loving 3d for now until i complete my fyp. This way work pretty well for me for last fyp.
Back to my topic.
I am not be that weak, but still not strong enough to stop my own tears from falling down.
I may look stupid, but you might not know i am too smart to be stupid.
I have a heart made of metal, too hard to be break apart.
What is love when there exist a word call heart-broken?
Don't get me wrong. I am not feeling sad or what. I am too busy to be getting emotional these few days. I am just making full use of my blogging time to give myself a break from project.
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| I gonna be real focused now. |
[Nov. 20th, 2009|07:54 pm] |
If you happened to read this post of mine, I am really gonna be real focused in doing my fyp starting from this day onwards. I shall work really hard now, and enjoyed myself after next month. After that, will be a non-stopping period again to my design life till i succeed and be the best of what i can become what i wanted to be (:
I realised dream is after all the most secure insurance in life. Where else can you find something that will give you a strong sense of achievement and happiness after doing what you enjoy doing. Let work hard from now onwards okay! |
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